Kataikaḷ: Navigating Home And Sense Of Belonging As Queer Desi/South Asian Transnational Graduate Students In Higher Education

Abstract

This dissertation illuminates the lived experiences of Queer Desi/South Asian Transnational Scholars (QDTS), specifically graduate students in Higher Education Institutions (HEIs) situated in the United States. The purpose of this research study was to understand how QDTS scholars, specifically graduate students, negotiate and navigate identity formation, belonging, and home within hostile academic and sociopolitical spaces in the Global North that are shaped by colonial logics and values of neoliberalism, white supremacy, and cisheteropatriarchy. This work is informed by de/colonial, Par/Des(i) ontoepistemic and Queer Transnational Feminist framings. Using Kataikaḷ (கதைகள்)—a hybridized, de/colonial, contemplative, and creative qualitative methodology grounded in South Asian storytelling, astrology, and cultural traditions of Kiḷi jōtiṭam (கிளி ஜோதிடம்) and Harikatha Kalakshepam and analysis through paintings, this dissertation moves away from damage-centric and deficit ideologies that dominate discourse surrounding Queer People of Color (QPoC) and emphasizes resistance, resilience, and self-authorship while disrupting homogenized and essentialized notions of belonging, home, and South Asian and Queer identities by situating the fluid, non-linear, and situated experiences of QDTS. This dissertation also offers readers an interactive, reflective, and creative session where they can engage with the QDTS Kataikaḷ through a deck of cards inspired by Kiḷi jōtiṭam and Tarot, informed by their stories and the paintings from analysis to foster deeper connection and meaningful engagement.